Day 20 - Stalled

Stuck in a rut.

Day 19 - Cooking

Today I had the most wonderful day, my boyfriend said that we could do whatever I wanted so we went out to lunch at Hill Billy Hotdogs, then saw Kick-Ass, fixed up and planted seeds in the garden, and then went to wal-mart so I could pick up some things to cook dinner. For dinner I made rotini pasta with chicken and cannelinni beans with a pesto sauce. On the side we had some bread we picked up from the bakery that I sliced, drizzled with olive oil, toasted and rubbed with garlic and a mixed herb and greens salad. It was wonderful, my day was wonderful and I am a very happy girl.

Day 18 - Grass

If you don't have a song
To sing you're okay
You know how to get along
Humming

If you don't have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
'Cause it's just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore

No, I don't believe in the wasting of time,
But, I don't believe that I'm wasting mine

If you don't have a point to make
Don't sweat it
You'll make a sharp one being so kind
And I'd sure appreciate it
Everyone else's goal's to get big headed
Why should I follow that beat being that I'm
Better than fine

Day 17 - Untitled

Day 16 - Imperfections

Today I decided to post two things that I am very self-concious about maybe as a way to help myself begin to accept the things I think of as "flaws". Located on the skin of my legs they are stretch marks and self-inflicted scars. I am not happy that I have either and I really wish I didn't but there's not much I can do about them but learn to live and accept that my body, skin, self isn't perfect and never will be.

But, sometimes I need just a little more help.

Day 15 - Changes

I was in a good mood when I took this picture but now, I am not in such a great mood anymore.

Blah.

Day 14 - Extraterrestrial Life

I don't believe in aliens in the aspect of that they are flying over New Jersey in a saucer shaped aircraft everytime there's a full moon and well, anything beyond that I'll just leave to the astronauts to think about.

Day 13 - Sick of The Sadness

Day 12 - Sick Day

So, I've been sick today and spent the majority of it laying in bed with my cat watching the Food Network. I really was thinking about not taking a photo but I downed some pepto and set up the camera, this was the result.

Day 11 - Untitled

I was without the camera again today so another webcam shot it was.

My back hurts, I've been working in the garden and cleaning the house for most of the day. I didn't really feel like doing a picture but I did one anyway. I want to stick with this.

Day 10 - Ode

Ode To Meaning
Robert Pinsky

Dire one and desired one,
Savior, sentencer--

In an old allegory you would carry
A chained alphabet of tokens:

Ankh Badge Cross.
Dragon,
Engraved figure guarding a hallowed intaglio,
Jasper kinema of legendary Mind,
Naked omphalos pierced
By quills of rhyme or sense, torah-like: unborn
Vein of will, xenophile
Yearning out of Zero.

Untrusting I court you. Wavering
I seek your face, I read
That Crusoe's knife
Reeked of you, that to defile you
The soldier makes the rabbi spit on the torah.
"I'll drown my book" says Shakespeare.

Drowned walker, revenant.
After my mother fell on her head, she became
More than ever your sworn enemy. She spoke
Sometimes like a poet or critic of forty years later.
Or she spoke of the world as Thersites spoke of the heroes,
"I think they have swallowed one another. I
Would laugh at that miracle."

You also in the laughter, warrior angel:
Your helmet the zodiac, rocket-plumed
Your spear the beggar's finger pointing to the mouth
Your heel planted on the serpent Formulation
Your face a vapor, the wreath of cigarette smoke crowning
Bogart as he winces through it.

You not in the words, not even
Between the words, but a torsion,
A cleavage, a stirring.

You stirring even in the arctic ice,
Even at the dark ocean floor, even
In the cellular flesh of a stone.
Gas. Gossamer. My poker friends
Question your presence
In a poem by me, passing the magazine
One to another.

Not the stone and not the words, you
Like a veil over Arthur's headstone,
The passage from Proverbs he chose
While he was too ill to teach
And still well enough to read, I was
Beside the master craftsman
Delighting him day after day, ever
At play in his presence--you

A soothing veil of distraction playing over
Dying Arthur playing in the hospital,
Thumbing the Bible, fuzzy from medication,
Ever courting your presence,
And you the prognosis,
You in the cough.

Gesturer, when is your spur, your cloud?
You in the airport rituals of greeting and parting.
Indicter, who is your claimant?
Bell at the gate. Spiderweb iron bridge.
Cloak, video, aroma, rue, what is your
Elected silence, where was your seed?

What is Imagination
But your lost child born to give birth to you?

Dire one. Desired one.
Savior, sentencer--

Absence,
Or presence ever at play:
Let those scorn you who never
Starved in your dearth. If I
Dare to disparage
Your harp of shadows I taste
Wormwood and motor oil, I pour
Ashes on my head. You are the wound. You
Be the medicine.

Day 9 - Gone

Baby, why'm I worried now,
Did someone make a fool of me
'fore I could show 'em how it's done?
Can't give up actin' tough,
It's all that I'm made of.
Can't scrape together quite enough
To ride the bus to the outskirts
Of the fact that I need love.

There were times that I tried,
One for every glass of water
That I spilled next to the bed,
Wretching pennies in a boiling well
In a dream that it once becomes
A foundry of mute and heavy bells.
They shake me deaf and dumb
Say, "Someone made a fool of me
'fore I could show 'em how it's done."

It was so clear to me
That it was almost invisible.
I lie across the path waiting,
Just for a chance to be a spiderweb
Trapped in your lashes.
For that, I would trade you my empire for ashes.
But I choke it back, how much I need love...

Day 8 - Good Hygiene

I haven't felt well today, my head has been hurting and I've felt fatigued on top of it. I haven't gotten much done but I did floss and brush my teeth. :D

Day 7 - Differences

This is my face, I've got a thousand opinions and not the time to explain
This is my body and no matter how you try and disable it
I'll still be here
And, this, is my mind, and although you try to infringe you cannot confine
And, this, is my brain, and even if you try and hold me back
There's nothing that you can gain"

Day 6 - Stuck

"I'm trying not to think of you and ways we used to be
But, I've been flashing in on your jawline
And to tell you the truth I'd like to kick you out of me
But, I'm stuck here waiting for the shoe to drop
Waiting for the phone to ring, for someone to need me again

Stuck here waiting for the paint to dry

Waiting for the life of my life to come on and need me again"

Day 5 - Boredom

I don't have any moody lyrics or anything good to say, I'm just bored and lazy and wanted to post a picture in here of me in my favorite pajamas, yes, they do have Thumper on them. :)

Day 4 -Tuck It In

"I know that I am not healthy, yeah, but who really is?
At least I am trying something, at least I am willing to give in.
I know that this is a never ending process, this growing up thing.
But, sometimes, life on life's terms means that I do not get to win"

Day 3 - Springtime Can Kill You

You can't be too shy
You know the reason why
If you don't go get what you need
Something's going to break on the inside

Day 2 - Long May You Let My Love In

"You don't know my secret, I'm a heartbreaker.
Now, go out and find the woman that you should."

Day 1 - Falling

"What does it take to make it through another day
If a feather lined with his words becomes a blade?"