Day 37 was a hard one. I was tired, I was sore, and I was slightly depressed about a few things. By the time I took this picture I was almost numb. But, some good did come out of the day. I was able to go to the grocery store and saw that blackberries were on sale which later became my late night snack. I haven't had them since I was a little girl and used to pick them out at my mammaw's farm. Those blackberries were probably the highlight of my day.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Day 36 - Dreamer
Day 34 - Where Are You Now
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Day 33 - Leopard
Day 32 - Laze
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Day 31 - Belly Button
Today I have felt miserable. Stricken with womanly cramps and such. My belly button is a weird one, it's a mash up of an innie and an outie. I've even had people make fun of it, asking me what's growing out of my belly button. When my mother gave birth to me I decided to take her uterus along with me turning it inside out in the process, they cut my cord messily in the rush and so now I always have my belly button to remind me of what my mother went through just bringing me into this world and she's been through even more to just to keep me in it. She's the greatest.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Day 29 - Girl-things
Day 27 - The Country
I've been away for a few days. Been too busy to post this but I did take a picture for day 27 although I skipped doing anything at all for day 28.
I took a walk that day and I thought even though I was wearing my lazy clothes (sweat pants and a baggy shirt) it was too beautiful with the sun going down to not take a picture.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Day 26 - Down
Today I've been feeling pretty down about myself and looking through the pictures I took I wasn't feeling too great about how I'm looking these days from certain angles. I gained around fifteen pounds once I started dating my new boy. I've ordered P90X to do over this summer so I can tone up. I'm not really unhappy with many parts of my body but my stomach looks pretty flabby and disproportionately large from certain angles and I dislike how weak my arms are, those two things really get to me so I'm going to work on fixing that. Maybe this blog will also be something for me to document my changing body. I want to be healthier and stronger, I'm not overweight but I don't have much muscle mass at all. Let's hope I can stick with the working out like I've been sticking to doing this blog.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Day 25 - Again
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Day 23 - Experimentations
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Day 22 - Unwilling
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Day 19 - Cooking
Today I had the most wonderful day, my boyfriend said that we could do whatever I wanted so we went out to lunch at Hill Billy Hotdogs, then saw Kick-Ass, fixed up and planted seeds in the garden, and then went to wal-mart so I could pick up some things to cook dinner. For dinner I made rotini pasta with chicken and cannelinni beans with a pesto sauce. On the side we had some bread we picked up from the bakery that I sliced, drizzled with olive oil, toasted and rubbed with garlic and a mixed herb and greens salad. It was wonderful, my day was wonderful and I am a very happy girl.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Day 18 - Grass
If you don't have a song
To sing you're okay
You know how to get along
Humming
If you don't have a date
Celebrate
Go out and sit on the lawn
And do nothing
'Cause it's just what you must do
Nobody does it anymore
No, I don't believe in the wasting of time,
But, I don't believe that I'm wasting mine
If you don't have a point to make
Don't sweat it
You'll make a sharp one being so kind
And I'd sure appreciate it
Everyone else's goal's to get big headed
Why should I follow that beat being that I'm
Better than fine
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Day 16 - Imperfections
Today I decided to post two things that I am very self-concious about maybe as a way to help myself begin to accept the things I think of as "flaws". Located on the skin of my legs they are stretch marks and self-inflicted scars. I am not happy that I have either and I really wish I didn't but there's not much I can do about them but learn to live and accept that my body, skin, self isn't perfect and never will be.
But, sometimes I need just a little more help.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Day 15 - Changes
I was in a good mood when I took this picture but now, I am not in such a great mood anymore.
Blah.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Day 14 - Extraterrestrial Life
I don't believe in aliens in the aspect of that they are flying over New Jersey in a saucer shaped aircraft everytime there's a full moon and well, anything beyond that I'll just leave to the astronauts to think about.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Day 12 - Sick Day
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Day 11 - Untitled
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Day 10 - Ode
Ode To Meaning
Robert Pinsky
Dire one and desired one,
Savior, sentencer--
In an old allegory you would carry
A chained alphabet of tokens:
Ankh Badge Cross.
Dragon,
Engraved figure guarding a hallowed intaglio,
Jasper kinema of legendary Mind,
Naked omphalos pierced
By quills of rhyme or sense, torah-like: unborn
Vein of will, xenophile
Yearning out of Zero.
Untrusting I court you. Wavering
I seek your face, I read
That Crusoe's knife
Reeked of you, that to defile you
The soldier makes the rabbi spit on the torah.
"I'll drown my book" says Shakespeare.
Drowned walker, revenant.
After my mother fell on her head, she became
More than ever your sworn enemy. She spoke
Sometimes like a poet or critic of forty years later.
Or she spoke of the world as Thersites spoke of the heroes,
"I think they have swallowed one another. I
Would laugh at that miracle."
You also in the laughter, warrior angel:
Your helmet the zodiac, rocket-plumed
Your spear the beggar's finger pointing to the mouth
Your heel planted on the serpent Formulation
Your face a vapor, the wreath of cigarette smoke crowning
Bogart as he winces through it.
You not in the words, not even
Between the words, but a torsion,
A cleavage, a stirring.
You stirring even in the arctic ice,
Even at the dark ocean floor, even
In the cellular flesh of a stone.
Gas. Gossamer. My poker friends
Question your presence
In a poem by me, passing the magazine
One to another.
Not the stone and not the words, you
Like a veil over Arthur's headstone,
The passage from Proverbs he chose
While he was too ill to teach
And still well enough to read, I was
Beside the master craftsman
Delighting him day after day, ever
At play in his presence--you
A soothing veil of distraction playing over
Dying Arthur playing in the hospital,
Thumbing the Bible, fuzzy from medication,
Ever courting your presence,
And you the prognosis,
You in the cough.
Gesturer, when is your spur, your cloud?
You in the airport rituals of greeting and parting.
Indicter, who is your claimant?
Bell at the gate. Spiderweb iron bridge.
Cloak, video, aroma, rue, what is your
Elected silence, where was your seed?
What is Imagination
But your lost child born to give birth to you?
Dire one. Desired one.
Savior, sentencer--
Absence,
Or presence ever at play:
Let those scorn you who never
Starved in your dearth. If I
Dare to disparage
Your harp of shadows I taste
Wormwood and motor oil, I pour
Ashes on my head. You are the wound. You
Be the medicine.
Robert Pinsky
Dire one and desired one,
Savior, sentencer--
In an old allegory you would carry
A chained alphabet of tokens:
Ankh Badge Cross.
Dragon,
Engraved figure guarding a hallowed intaglio,
Jasper kinema of legendary Mind,
Naked omphalos pierced
By quills of rhyme or sense, torah-like: unborn
Vein of will, xenophile
Yearning out of Zero.
Untrusting I court you. Wavering
I seek your face, I read
That Crusoe's knife
Reeked of you, that to defile you
The soldier makes the rabbi spit on the torah.
"I'll drown my book" says Shakespeare.
Drowned walker, revenant.
After my mother fell on her head, she became
More than ever your sworn enemy. She spoke
Sometimes like a poet or critic of forty years later.
Or she spoke of the world as Thersites spoke of the heroes,
"I think they have swallowed one another. I
Would laugh at that miracle."
You also in the laughter, warrior angel:
Your helmet the zodiac, rocket-plumed
Your spear the beggar's finger pointing to the mouth
Your heel planted on the serpent Formulation
Your face a vapor, the wreath of cigarette smoke crowning
Bogart as he winces through it.
You not in the words, not even
Between the words, but a torsion,
A cleavage, a stirring.
You stirring even in the arctic ice,
Even at the dark ocean floor, even
In the cellular flesh of a stone.
Gas. Gossamer. My poker friends
Question your presence
In a poem by me, passing the magazine
One to another.
Not the stone and not the words, you
Like a veil over Arthur's headstone,
The passage from Proverbs he chose
While he was too ill to teach
And still well enough to read, I was
Beside the master craftsman
Delighting him day after day, ever
At play in his presence--you
A soothing veil of distraction playing over
Dying Arthur playing in the hospital,
Thumbing the Bible, fuzzy from medication,
Ever courting your presence,
And you the prognosis,
You in the cough.
Gesturer, when is your spur, your cloud?
You in the airport rituals of greeting and parting.
Indicter, who is your claimant?
Bell at the gate. Spiderweb iron bridge.
Cloak, video, aroma, rue, what is your
Elected silence, where was your seed?
What is Imagination
But your lost child born to give birth to you?
Dire one. Desired one.
Savior, sentencer--
Absence,
Or presence ever at play:
Let those scorn you who never
Starved in your dearth. If I
Dare to disparage
Your harp of shadows I taste
Wormwood and motor oil, I pour
Ashes on my head. You are the wound. You
Be the medicine.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Day 9 - Gone
Baby, why'm I worried now,
Did someone make a fool of me
'fore I could show 'em how it's done?
Can't give up actin' tough,
It's all that I'm made of.
Can't scrape together quite enough
To ride the bus to the outskirts
Of the fact that I need love.
There were times that I tried,
One for every glass of water
That I spilled next to the bed,
Wretching pennies in a boiling well
In a dream that it once becomes
A foundry of mute and heavy bells.
They shake me deaf and dumb
Say, "Someone made a fool of me
'fore I could show 'em how it's done."
It was so clear to me
That it was almost invisible.
I lie across the path waiting,
Just for a chance to be a spiderweb
Trapped in your lashes.
For that, I would trade you my empire for ashes.
But I choke it back, how much I need love...
Did someone make a fool of me
'fore I could show 'em how it's done?
Can't give up actin' tough,
It's all that I'm made of.
Can't scrape together quite enough
To ride the bus to the outskirts
Of the fact that I need love.
There were times that I tried,
One for every glass of water
That I spilled next to the bed,
Wretching pennies in a boiling well
In a dream that it once becomes
A foundry of mute and heavy bells.
They shake me deaf and dumb
Say, "Someone made a fool of me
'fore I could show 'em how it's done."
It was so clear to me
That it was almost invisible.
I lie across the path waiting,
Just for a chance to be a spiderweb
Trapped in your lashes.
For that, I would trade you my empire for ashes.
But I choke it back, how much I need love...
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Day 8 - Good Hygiene
I haven't felt well today, my head has been hurting and I've felt fatigued on top of it. I haven't gotten much done but I did floss and brush my teeth. :D
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Day 7 - Differences
This is my face, I've got a thousand opinions and not the time to explain
This is my body and no matter how you try and disable it
I'll still be here
And, this, is my mind, and although you try to infringe you cannot confine
And, this, is my brain, and even if you try and hold me back
There's nothing that you can gain"
This is my body and no matter how you try and disable it
I'll still be here
And, this, is my mind, and although you try to infringe you cannot confine
And, this, is my brain, and even if you try and hold me back
There's nothing that you can gain"
Friday, April 16, 2010
Day 6 - Stuck
"I'm trying not to think of you and ways we used to be
But, I've been flashing in on your jawline
And to tell you the truth I'd like to kick you out of me
But, I'm stuck here waiting for the shoe to drop
Waiting for the phone to ring, for someone to need me again
But, I've been flashing in on your jawline
And to tell you the truth I'd like to kick you out of me
But, I'm stuck here waiting for the shoe to drop
Waiting for the phone to ring, for someone to need me again
Stuck here waiting for the paint to dry
Waiting for the life of my life to come on and need me again"
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Day 5 - Boredom
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Day 4 -Tuck It In
"I know that I am not healthy, yeah, but who really is?
At least I am trying something, at least I am willing to give in.
I know that this is a never ending process, this growing up thing.
But, sometimes, life on life's terms means that I do not get to win"
At least I am trying something, at least I am willing to give in.
I know that this is a never ending process, this growing up thing.
But, sometimes, life on life's terms means that I do not get to win"
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Day 3 - Springtime Can Kill You
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
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